Name: Safari Bistro Hotel
Address: 91 St Michael's Rd, Bournemouth, England BH2 5DR, United Kingdom, Bournemouth, Bournemouth, Bournemouth, BH2 5DR, United Kingdom
Rating: 6

Smoke-free property

Ticket assistance

Terrace

All Spaces Non-Smoking (public and private)

General

Laundry

Safe-deposit box

Luggage storage

Services and amenities

Cafe

Restaurant

Meals

Free Wi-Fi

Internet access

In-room internet

Internet

Multi-language staff

Languages Spoken

Tour assistance

Tourist services

Free parking

Parking

Pets allowed

Pets

Location

At the hotel

Durley Chine Beach

The Square

Bournemouth Beach

Bournemouth Town Hall

Genting Casino Bournemouth

Middle Chine Beach

Alum Chine Beach

Laser Quest Bournemouth

Branksome Dene Beach

Boscombe Beach

Bournemouth Airport

Southampton Airport

Safari Bistro Hotel

Bournemouth

child-bed

child-bed-fee

external-private-bathroom

private-bathroom

shared-bathroom

10-beds

11-beds

12-beds

13-beds

14-beds

15-beds

16-beds

17-beds

18-beds

19-beds

2-beds

20-beds

21-beds

22-beds

23-beds

24-beds

25-beds

26-beds

27-beds

28-beds

29-beds

3-beds

30-beds

31-beds

32-beds

33-beds

34-beds

35-beds

36-beds

37-beds

38-beds

39-beds

4-beds

40-beds

5-beds

6-beds

7-beds

8-beds

9-beds

king-bed

queen-bed

limited-time

lounge

treatment

no-window

bay-view

bosphorus-view

canal-view

city-view

courtyard-view

garden-view

golf-view

harbour-view

inland-view

lake-view

land-view

mountain-view

ocean-front

ocean-view

oceanside

panoramic-view

park-view

partial-ocean-view

partial-sea-view

partial-view

pool-view

river-view

sea-front

sea-view

street-view

sunrise-view

sunset-view

water-view

with-view

annex

basement

main-building

1-bedroom

2-bedrooms

3-bedrooms

4-bedrooms

5-bedrooms

6-bedrooms

not-guaranteed

wired-internet-access

smoking

sauna

duplex

safe

mini-bar

breakfast-for-1

breakfast-for-2

pets-allowed

wi-fi

kitchen

Stood in the lobby for only 5 minutes to sign in. Guest after guest came in to complain. One woman came to confirm that the room she was in was ACTUALLY a deluxe room because it wasn't very deluxe at all. Another who's windows didn't open and was overheating. Then another who was upset about a LIVE COCKROACH in the building. 

This is a review of the FIRST room I was put in, as we had to move to another room. Theres a story below:

-Dirty and worn out. I considered leaving within half an hour of unpacking.
-Fire Safety violation spotted almost immediately, a Fire Extinguisher used as a doorstop to hold open a fire door in the route of a fire exit. Yes, seriously. A fire extinguisher removed from it's designated and labeled storage and used as a doorstop to hold open a fire door. That isn't a joke.  
-Looks like a slum. The moment you realise that half the door handles only have 2 of the 4 screws holding them on you know the place is run by people who really don't care. 
-Whoever fitted ALL the fixtures has never heard of a spirit level. Everything is wonky.  
-Incredibly bland. 
-Quick wipe of some surfaces (Like the bed headrest) with a wet wipe turned the wet wipe brown. 
-Chronically ancient TV and the remote that's supposed to be white was brown, furry and sticky like it had been used as a dog toy.
-Kettle full of rust and limescale, I refused to use it. 
-Full-sized kitchen fridge in room that's covered in stains. 
-No lamps or anything, you get the main room light or complete darkness. 
-There's a cabinet that looks like it was pulled out of a ditch and all the drawers are full of dead insects and piled dust. 
-There's trash and broken glass right outside the window, the window itself looks like it was painted and sealed by a child. 
-There's no Internet or cell reception, can't even send a text message from here, in a city. The information we read online explained that there IS free WiFi for guests, however we were never offered the password, and after the whole ordeal (written below) we didn't actually want to talk to anyone. 
-There's a prominent odour of raw sewage, and if its not the sewage smell it's another one that's equally awful but unidentifiable.
-The carpet is attached to the floor only by its own weight. 
-The paint is just falling off like dust. 
-The room's door is a heavy fire door but it has a gap at the bottom big enough to stick your hand through. 
-The only window you can look out of looks directly into the windows of the hotels only 20ft next door. 
-Even the light bulb for the main room is a foul, pale and sickly white-green.
-Disgusting power outlets hanging on for dear life. 

The Room Switch Story:
There was cold water in the sink and no hot, but hot in the bath and no cold, so we couldn't shower or effectively wash hands. We asked for the water issue to be fixed, we were told 20 minutes, that was at 8pm. It took most of an hour for someone to come and put their hand in the shower's running water to confirm it was indeed scalding hot and unusable, just to say "I think it is being blocked, we'll get you another room.". Took another 30 minutes, at 9.30pm, to get us into another room so we could shower and unpack for a second time. 

Review of the SECOND room:

-Slightly larger but still bland. 
-Still busted old furniture that looks like it was acquired from a skip. Instead of replacing this table that's peeling paint all over and has a huge hole in it, they just poorly stuffed the hole with wet tissue paper. 
-Another rusty and dirty kettle. 
-Another room with an awful smell. 
-Surfaces are still dirty when wiped. 
-Same TV, remote is also just as disgusting as last room. 
-Carpet still trying to escape. 
-wallpaper and paint falling off. 
-Windows don't open. 
-Curtains just barely fit the window frame and at least 4 hotel rooms in the neighbouring building get a perfect view into the whole room. The hotel next door literally has netting up at every window and these owners can't take a hint. 
-Shower works, but just barely. The shower cubicle is tiny and falling apart. Sink is falling off of the wall. Bathroom floor covered in dirt and filled with mould. Overflowing sealant evwrywhere and some of the laziest installations I've seen in my life. The bathroom light doesn't work properly. 
-The door to the bathroom doesn't fit in the frame and scrapes across the floor, and since you have to shove it to move it, I got a splinter off the poorly-cut edges that haven't been sanded. 
-Chairs in the room that were actually worrying to sit on because they were so flimsy, im certain they were designed for little children. 
-All of the outlets/power sockets in the building look like they've been vomited on, it's like the cleaners are scared to clean them properly. One of the sockets had a huge hole in it, still fully live, I almost put my hand inside the whole socket by accident, the owner/s are genuinely super lucky I saw the danger and left without a lawsuit against them. 

For £208, we got genuinely the worst hotel I've ever stayed in. With parking being £10 a day, for 2 days. The parking is terrible and you have to argue to get your car out past idiots who'd sooner box you in a space than park somewhere sensible. We saved maybe £60, instead of going to a Premiere Inn, and it certainly wasn't worth it. Although the linens looked like the only thing in the building that got properly cleaned, we still slept on blankets. 

Absolutely disgraceful, disgusting, overpriced, and lazy all around. Clown hotel. I would be ashamed to work here, let alone own the place. Very sad, being so close to the beach, a real waste of a business. 

DO NOT BOOK A ROOM HERE.

Only slightly better than sleeping in a public toilet

We booked a double room. I didn't expect much for the price, as we paid £95/night and was planning to stay two nights. The room looked like it was furnished from the skip. The fabric around the bottom of the bed was torn to shreds, the curtain was falling off, the light in the bathroom didn't work, the telly didn't work. The carpet was dirty and the window overlooked a pile of rubbish. The bathtub and the sink were stained with who knows what and there was dirt sitting around the edge of the bathtub. There was no bin neither in the room, nor the bathroom, so good luck to the ladies, who happen to need it. When we complained that the room looked like a homeless shelter, we were offered a "better"room that was equally horrible. The third room they offered wasn't any better. They were not going to give a refund, so we left rather than staying the second night and ruining our weekend. Shocking that this establishment calls itself a hotel. Fire extinguishers were used as doorstops, the carpets were dirty and torn. Save yourself the grief and avoid this place.

Avoid the Palm Beach hotel

My partner and I are a gay couple and we booked a five night stay at the Safari Hotel in Bournemouth a few years ago. Saying it is disgusting and unpleasant is the understatement of the year! Definitely a hotel (if you can actually call it that!) to avoid like the plague. I've stayed in hostels with higher standards!

When we arrived we were greeted by, we assumed, the owner. He was dressed very casually, scruffy to be honest, and his manner was most unwelcoming. Having said this my partner settled the bill in full. Big mistake; or it could've been!

As many other reviewers have said, our room was very basic. The carpet was old, smelly and dirty. I even found a toenail clipping by treading on it - ouch! Our bed was most uncomfortable too and it had one of those hideous plastic covers/sheets which I loathe because they make you sweat so much. Both of us woke after getting minimal sleep drenched in our own sweat. Not at all pleasant and very unhygienic! Our shower was also pretty disgusting. I don't know where the water was coming from, but judging by the orangey brown colour it couldn't have been the mains water supply! Needles to say we didn't use it!

The following morning we got up and had breakfast. This was pretty much on a par with everything else. It was the cheapest of the cheap microwaved to death and was borderline edible. One fellow reviewer mentioned fatty bacon. Well we'll certainly second that!

During our day in Bournemouth we decided to find somewhere else to stay. We thought this would be nigh-on impossible during August, but as luck would have it we did find somewhere else, and far far nicer it was too!

When we arrived back at the Safari to collect our things we had one hell of a shock! The owners had informed on us to the police! We had no idea what on earth was going on, but it was a very distressing experience for both of us! I'm pretty sure there was some serious homophobia involved. How can a hotel, or any place of accommodation for that matter, treat same sex couples like this in the 21st century? Disgusting! I was annoyed and upset but my partner was outraged and he demanded a full refund. He quickly got this but there was no apology from the interfering spiteful owners. We will never stay at this hell hole ever again!

Everyone: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T STAY AT THE SAFARI HOTEL!  I've given it one star, but I'd give it less if I could!

Basil Fawlty does better!

Visited this hotel as part of a stag party back in June. I have to say the couple running it were amazing and a great breakfast.

The rooms do need modernising and the bathroom needed a lot of work including a light!!

Great venue for a stag or hen party local to the town centre and once they finish the rooms should be a good venue.


Great couple running it

I was supposed to spend two nights with my partner off 22 years for his birthday room was really bad as I walked in the room there were bunk beds put there because they had no were else to but them so it made me feel like we were put in the closet I'm disabled and my partner has heart problems the double bed was to low very hard one pillow TV wouldn't work properly nor did the kettle the bedside light had no bulb in it so when my partner turned off main light he hit himself on the bunk beds I could only stay one night cause my back was so bad I could hardly walk it ruined our one weekend together for the first time ever away I would never recommend it to disabled people the pics shown are not what they are now I forgot to take pics as I was in so much pain and I felt so shut in I had to get out xx

Miss 

It was the only place that would take a hen party for one night. Not the most modern of places BUT ... The staff couldn't have done more for us, soooooooo accommodating and friendly!!! The rooms were clean and the showers were hot. The beds were comfy and the breakfast was amazing. We were thoroughly looked after. Thank you for being a pet of our weekend.

Hen Weekend

I spent four nights at the Hotel.  The room was clean and tidy with en suite facilities.  I had a pleasant sleep and a lovely breakfast each morning and had a relaxing time on the beach and doing leisurely things you usually do on a holiday.  The staff are very helpful and do a great job.  What a lovely find !
I think the previous bad reviews are a little over the top to be fair, I had no complaints at all.

Safari Bistro Hotel

Main amenities of the hotel

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Available rooms

Location

Description of the hotel

What other amenities are there?

General

Services and amenities

Meals

Internet

Languages Spoken

Tourist services

Parking

Pets

Policies

Check-in terms and conditions

Payment